Tales of the Damned Dice · Book I

Monday 'n' Mayhem

Satirical Grimdark Fantasy

Others called it justice. He called it performance.

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The Story

When a weekly drunken brawl births a murder, someone has to turn the chaos into legend.

Mišo Kanis, conman, merchant, and accidental prophet, must turn the chaos into legend or die trying.

Together with his ragged tavern crew, four men bound by lies, loyalty, and ale, he spins a story big enough to hide a corpse, or mountains of them.

But stories this big don't stay buried. They take on a life of their own, dragging them into a war against made-up enemies, absent gods, and the very truth itself.

Monday 'n' Mayhem begins the Tales of the Damned Dice series, a satirical grimdark fantasy saga born from real D&D campaigns and forged through ruthless dice, real emotion, and terrible decisions, where heroes are frauds, prophecies are drunk, and salvation always comes at someone else's expense.

For fans of Kings of the Wyld, The Blacktongue Thief, The First Law Trilogy, and Good Omens: a brutal, darkly hilarious descent into brotherhood, guilt, and the price of storytelling.

The Company of Fools

Who You Will Meet

Conman · Merchant · Prophet of Improvisation

Mišo "Miško" Kanis

"Two Groš" · The High Prophet of the Holy Joint

Mišo Kanis sells both salvation and the sin it feeds. Slim-framed with slicked-back hair, he drifts through life with a joint perpetually hanging from his lips. Once a cloth trader, now a merchant of faith, smoke, and second chances. He peddles miracles between refills and revelations. Called "Two Groš" for turning nothing into profit through methods that would make priests weep. Through clouds of cheap weed and cheaper wisdom, he's built a religion of improvisation: one sermon, one joint, one disaster at a time.

Bare-Knuckle Champion · Debt Collector · Professional Regret Manufacturer

Koriolan "Kon" Orešný

"The Little Knight" · The Sickle of Mrkotín

Kon is what happens when you compress violence, pride, and impulse into a body barely reaching most men's chests. A scar splits his brow like divine punctuation, and his beard clings with defiance. His knuckles stay bandaged because bare bone sounds worse than it feels. They call him Kon when friendly, and worse when collecting debts. At four-and-a-half feet, he's the self-proclaimed champion of Pochmúrno: undefeated, unchallenged, eager to prove why.

Ranger (allegedly) · Chef (regrettably) · Full-time Disaster

Jakub "Kubo" Ťava

"Brada" · The Patron Saint of Culinary Crimes

Kubo is a man of many claimed talents and zero proven competencies. His beard looks less like facial hair and more like something that crawled onto his face and died there, earning him his nickname "Brada." He styles himself as a ranger turned chef, though his stew suggests he's been neither. Most blame his delusions on mushroom wine, but his loyalty runs deeper than his stupidity, and he'll defend his friends with crossbow, ladle, or terrible jokes.

What This Book Explores

It is very funny. It is also not entirely a joke.

The Performance of Authority

Miško does not have power. He has the appearance of power, which turns out to be close enough. The book asks what happens when a con becomes a cause, and whether there's any real difference at the point where people start believing it.

Brotherhood Under Pressure

The three men do not make sense together. They stay together anyway, not because of loyalty in any heroic sense, but because going separate directions seems more complicated. That's not so different from how most bonds actually work.

A World That Is Genuinely Dark

The comedy is real. So is the grimdark. Mrkotín is not a pleasant place. The laughter does not blunt the stakes. It rides alongside them. The book holds both without resolving the tension, because that's what the genre demands and what made the campaigns memorable.

Nobody Learns Anything

This is not a growth arc. Miško ends the book roughly as capable as he began it. The point is not transformation. It is survival, and the dark comedy of what survival actually looks like when the people involved are these people.

Where It Came From

Born at a real table, with real dice, and genuinely terrible decisions

The Tales of the Damned Dice did not begin on paper. They began years earlier, at a D&D table, with live players, real rolls, and the particular kind of chaos that only happens when nobody planned for the session to go this direction. Miško, Kon, and Kubo were played before they were written. Their disasters were voted on, survived, and laughed about before any of them became pages.

That origin is on every page. The book carries the energy of something that was alive before it was literature: decisions made in the moment, consequences that nobody saw coming, and that irreversible sense that the story went somewhere it was never supposed to go.

Look inside

About this book

Series

Tales of the Damned Dice

Order

Book I · Opening

Format

Satirical Grimdark Novel

Length

284 pages · Kindle · PB · HC

Questions

Frequently Asked

What is Monday 'n' Mayhem about?

Monday 'n' Mayhem is the first book in the Tales of the Damned Dice series, a satirical grimdark fantasy following three deeply unqualified adventurers through the village of Mrkotín. It's irreverent, darkly funny, and relentlessly entertaining. Born from real D&D campaigns, it brings the chaos of the table to the page.

Is this part of The Path of None?

No. Monday 'n' Mayhem is the opening book of an entirely separate series: Tales of the Damned Dice. It shares an author with The Path of None but not a world, tone, or cast. Think of it as the author's other face: where The Path of None is dark spiritual epic, Tales of the Damned Dice is grimdark comedy.

Where did this book come from?

The Tales of the Damned Dice grew from years of live D&D campaigns. The characters, chaos, and catastrophically bad decisions were played out at a real table before they were ever put on paper. The result is something that feels genuinely alive, because it was.

What books is this comparable to?

It is aimed at readers who enjoy comic fantasy with violence, flawed companions, bad decisions, and consequences that remain serious even when the dialogue is not.

Do I need to read The Path of None first?

Not at all. Monday 'n' Mayhem is a completely standalone world. If you're new to Alexander Gabriel ZoderoT, this is as good a starting place as any, and if the tone hooks you, The Path of None waits on the darker shelf.

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